Roseanne running for president of America and Israel

“…I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law, the Patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble, as will the concept of war itself, which is largely a large load of bullshit.”

“The people must have justice, and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine -- a fast and painless execution of justice, and of execution. There’s simply no kinder way of death than a swift and painless death.”

“All prime ministers, queens, and presidents will be required to fight in the very first infantry wave of any war they authorize. Trust me, this will make for some productive peace talks, people.”